I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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