So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
