Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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