I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
