we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize