My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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