I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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