i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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