it wasn't lemon gatorade
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
