Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Randomize
