...so i touched it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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