I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
