Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
