i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
God, I missed his penis.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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