did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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