Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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