Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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