Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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