dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
two words: eviction party
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
