I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
