some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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