Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
