I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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