its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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