It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
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I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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