I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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