$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
