You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think people are normalizing furries
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
