Kiss
Puke
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
