My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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