Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
