You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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