nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize