I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
