So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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