life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
