so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
