half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
