1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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