Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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