Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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