You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
