You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
