I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize