oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
