so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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