Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
