Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize