I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
