She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
