one two three fourrrrnication!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
