Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
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He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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