is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
