Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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