for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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