non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He better not be in your backpack
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
