is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
